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90 Funny Lines for Your Maid of Honor Speech That’ll Leave Guests in Stitches

Are you planning to give the best man or maid of honor speech at your best friend's wedding reception? Well done! It's common knowledge that the maid of honor's speech is one of the night's high points, both in terms of humor and audience anticipation. Even though you don't need to be a stand-up comedian to deliver a humorous speech, it's always a good idea to have a few funny lines ready to go. Any speech may benefit from humor, and when done effectively, funny wedding toasts could even make everyone happy. Our funny lines for the maid of honor speech will help you find the best way to start your speech and find jokes for the rest of it.

The father of the bride, like the maid of honor, will speak during the wedding, and his remarks will be full of emotion and capture the significance of the day. Here you can find the best father of the bride speech ideas .

How to Structure Your Maid Of Honor Speech

Every Maid of Honor speech is unique, but they all share one thing in common: you can't afford to get sidetracked without a plan. The procedure may be greatly improved, though, if you know where to begin and how. Here's a fundamental structure or checklist of things to consider about:

  • Introduce yourself– The first step is a captivating opening that holds the attention of the audience. Introduce yourself, share how long you have known the bride and your relationship with her. Remember that this period is not for you and don't spend too much time on it.
  • Thanks to everyone who participated in the success of the event- Thank the wedding planners, vendors (such as the caterer, photographer and videographer), and guests with a brief statement.
  • Talk about the bride and the groom- Tell the audience about your relationship with the bride and how you two first met. Tell the guests about the bride and groom and what you love most about them as people. Explain why you think the groom is the ideal match for the bride and use a personal story to highlight your closeness to her.
  • Share about their love story as a couple- Share some of the highlights, key moments, and memorable achievements that the bride and groom have accomplished together. Tell the story of how they first met, got to know one another, and then began to fall in love. Give an example of a humorous or otherwise memorable moment between them if you have one.
  • Give your best wishes- Send the happy couple your best wishes for their future together. You may wish for things like good health, a prosperous career, a loving family life and other forms of happiness. You may make it more emotional by using a quote from your preferred work of media or by reciting a poem.
  • The Final Words and Toast- In closing, you can make a toast to the bride and groom. To do this, you need to say something like, “A toast to the happy couples!”

Funny Opening Lines For Maid of Honor Speech

Starting your speech with a humorous anecdote is an excellent way to capture your listeners right away. Use one of these humorous opening words to get your audience laughing and your speech rolling.

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funny opening lines for maid of honor speech
funny opening lines for maid of honor speech (chlobellexx)
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  1. “I'm Rachel, maid of honor, and I believe that because the bride dislikes people, I was chosen by default.”
  2. “Hello everybody! My name is [Name], and I'm about to deliver the speech I hastily wrote down 15 minutes ago.”
  3. “Hello, everyone! I'm the Maid of Honor. I'm not as pretty as the bride, but she asked me to be there, so here I am.”
  4. “Everyone knows that being the Maid of Honor is a huge honor, especially if it gives me the chance to publicly humiliate you.”
  5. “The couple has asked me not to tell any embarrassing stories, so that's it from me! Thank you for listening!”
  6. Dear family and friends, good evening! I'm very happy to lead the only five minutes of the day that [BRIDE] didn't plan.”
  7. “Before I begin, I'd want to point out that the venue does not allow people to stand on chairs or tables, so please don't feel bad about giving me a standing ovation.”
  8. “Please, [BRIDE], put your left hand on the table and rest your arm there. [GROOM], Please put your hand on top of hers. Enjoy this time, [GROOM], because this is the first and last time you'll be in charge in your marriage.”
  9. “My parents taught me that if I had nothing positive to say about someone, I should keep my mouth shut. So, it's weird for me to be delivering a speech like this.”
  10. “I've known the bride for a very long time, but she had trouble selecting a maid of honor. She originally requested that her richest friend serve as her maid of honor, but she refused. She then requested that her funniest friend serve as her maid of honor, but she refused as well. She next invited her most attractive friend, but she refused as well. When she asked me again after the first three times, I was unable to say no to her.”
  11. “Ladies and gentlemen, today i witnessed a historic event; this is the first and, I hope, the last time anyone will trust me to deliver a speech!”
  12. “If you don't like my jokes, you may blame [Bride Name] because we have the same sense of humor.”
  13. “Loyal, kind, honest, generous…That's all I have to say about myself; I'm here to talk about [Bride Name], so let's get to it!”
  14. “[BRIDE] is aware of my anxiety around this speech and she gave me some great advice. What she said was… Just be yourself; don't try to be too charming, witty, or intellectual.”
  15. “Before I begin, ladies and gentlemen, let us pause for a moment of silence in honor of the 3,000 prawns, 250 chickens, and countless flowers, roses, and wedding planners who spent their lives for this special day.”

Funny One-Liner Wedding Toasts

Keep your humorous wedding toast brief, crisp, and most importantly, funny if you want it to have a lasting effect.

  1. “To the happy couple, I hope you live happily ever after, or at least until the next fight.”
  2. “Let us now raise our glasses in toast to the happy couple. Do you have any idea of how rare it is for me to like two people?”
  3. “Let's raise a glass to the newlyweds and wish them luck in keeping the toilet seat down at all times!”
  4. “Since it is obvious that nobody else will marry them, I hereby declare these two to be legally married.”
  5. “May your ups and downs only happen in the bedroom.”
  6. “Let's toast the newlyweds and wish them a union as enduring as the ‘unsubscribe' button on spam emails!”
  7. “The bride and I have been friends for so long that I could write a book on her. But don't worry, I'll limit it to a little comedy special.”
  8. “Let's raise a glass to the happy couple and to the free booze we've all discovered tonight!”
  9. “My advise is? Don't ever laugh at your partner's decisions because you were one of them!”
  10. “Let's raise a glass to the happy couple who managed to overlook each other's quirks in order to make their relationship work.”
  11. “I am the Maid of Honor, and I have the honor of letting know everyone of how lucky the groom is to have married my best friend.”
  12. “Congratulations, [Bride's Name] and [Groom's Name], and may your love last as long as the guest list for the wedding!”
  13. “I raise a toast to the lovely bride, wishing that she would never forget that he, um, I mean I, will always be her closest friend.”
  14. “We raise our glasses to the couple who found love in a miserable place and hope they also find the remote control.”
  15. “May your love never end, just like your group chat alerts.”
  16. “Now let's toast to the two secrets to a happy marriage. Humor and short-term memory.”
  17. “I wish the [Bride's Name] and [Groom's Name] a marriage as strong as the Wi-Fi connection on their honeymoon!”
  18. “Congratulations to the couple that discovered their lobster—the person they will irritate for the rest of their lives!”
  19. “May your household multiply, and may your hearts never be divided.”
  20. “May your relationship be as strong as your Netflix password!”
  21. “Congratulations to the happy couple that shows that “happily ever after” may still happen, despite the toilet seat controversy!”
  22. “A toast to the [Bride's Name] and [Groom's Name] whose love is as boundless as their shared passion for pizza (especially when it's loaded with extra cheese)!”
  23. “May your children be blessed with rich parents.” 
  24.  “I'll end this toast with my best advice – never go to bed mad. Instead, stay up and fight it out.” 
  25. “May ‘for better or worse’ be far better than worse.”

Funny Maid of Honor Speech Jokes

These are the kind of cringe-worthy jokes that will get your audience laughing even if they don't want to. Always include some flattery in between your jokes about the pair. This is, after all, their big day.

A wedding isnt complete without a little bit of comedy and a sprinkle of jokes so lets dive into some Funny Maid of Honor Speech Jokes
A wedding isnt complete without a little bit of comedy and a sprinkle of jokes so lets dive into some Funny Maid of Honor Speech Jokes (Lucy Gosling)
  1. “My study has led me to the conclusion that I should gush about the happy couple and highlight all their best qualities for you. No, I'm afraid I can't sing and I won't lie.”
  2. “My first reaction upon hearing the news of my closest friend's wedding was, “At last! Someone who can take her sass better than I can!”
  3. “Before I finish, [BRIDE] and [GROOM], I'd want you to turn to face each other. The person who is statistically most likely to murder you, is the one whose eyes you are currently looking into. Cheers to the happy couple!”
  4. “A wedding isn't just about two people putting their hearts together; it's also about how much money they can spend in one night.”
  5. “We can all agree that the bride looked absolutely breathtaking as she walked down the aisle earlier today. On the other side, the groom showed no emotion other than shock.”
  6. “I hope that you don't mind if I give you some future relationship advise…however, I am still a bachelor with three cats, so what do I know?”
  7. “Married life is the best. It's so great to find that one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
  8. “It seems like only yesterday that the bride was out on the town with a man wearing a fireman's outfit, dancing and having a good time. Oh, wait, you mean yesterday. I can barely remember anything from the Bachelorette party.”
  9. “Cheers to the new Mr. and Mrs. and all the great adventures they will have together from here on out; just keep in mind that my door is always open if things get a bit too exciting for you two!”
  10. “We've all heard the phrase, “love is blind,” but I think it's fair to argue that in this situation, love is also deaf, since you can clearly hear the joyful pair shouting at each other from a great distance.”
  11. “Today has been an extremely emotional day. Some of you have probably noticed that even the cake has tiers.”
  12. “Did you hear about the two cell phones that got married? I heard the reception was perfect.”

Funny Maid Of Honor Speech Lines For Bride

One of the most significant duties of a maid of honor is to provide an inspiring speech at the wedding. Being the bride's best friend means you already have lots of ideas for bridesmaid speeches; all you need to do is figure out how to organize them. If humor is what you're aiming for, consider incorporating some funny wedding quotes. Here are a few examples of funny lines for maid of honor speech to get you started.

  1. “Bride' has never been the kind of person to give up when faced with a difficulty. Because of this, she wed “Groom.”
  2. “Among the many reasons ‘Bride' has been excited about marriage is the fact that she no longer needs to worry about controlling her diet or shaving her legs.”
  3. “The bride is a lovely person with a great sense of humor. The funniest thing she recently said. And what was that, exactly? Oh, sure, “You'll wear that dress again one day.”
  4. “When the bride's parents first saw him, they questioned, “How do we know he's not a frog?” Naturally, my response was: “Because she kissed him and he didn't turn into a prince!”
  5. “If you want to know more about the bride, I'm sure Google will be happy to help!”
  6. “She always said that she would only ever settle for a perfect man, but my goodness, it appears like she barely made it!”
  7. “She may now complete the item on her list for the year that has been “buy a wedding dress.””
  8. “I have no doubt that the bride would stand by her husband through good health and bad. And even if his health requires him to become a CrossFit fanatic.”
  9. “I would do everything for the “Bride” as a friend, but since you're married, the “Groom” can take care of you now!”
  10. “I can't wait to see you go down the aisle, but mainly because I'm dying to see the back of that dress!”

Funny Marriage Advice For Couples

Why not kill two birds with one stone if you can help the newlyweds and have a good time doing it? You may use these jokes to give the happy couple some sage advice with a wink and a nod in your toast.

  1. “It's possible the bride said “I do,” but I imagine the husband was really thinking, “Oh boy, what have I just got myself into?””
  2. “It's possible that the charm of your youth will start to fade with time, but there's no need to be concerned about losing your eyesight in the process.”
  3. “The two important phrases for a successful and happy relationship are “I'm sorry” and “You're right.””
  4. “Marriage is a “as is” agreement. Stay away from trying to change your partner. There's nothing better than that.”
  5. “Compromise is a key component of marriage. If ‘Bride' wants a puppy and ‘Groom' doesn't, they'll have to find a middle ground…and adopt a puppy.”
  6. “The best person to tell a secret to is your husband. They’ll never tell anyone because they aren’t listening anyway.”
  7. “The newlywed bride and husband are welcomed into the family. The perks of marriage are now yours to enjoy, from rising up earlier on the weekends to doing double the dishes.”
  8. “Never forget, “Groom,” a happy wife is a happy life!”
  9.  “Now for some advice from me. The secret to my happy marriage is dinner twice a week. My partner goes on Tuesdays and I go on Thursdays.”
  10. “Any man who is married should forget his mistakes, because it doesn't help for both of them to remember the same thing.”
  11. “Leave the toilet seat down. Enough said.”
  12. “To the happy couple. May you share everything in live, especially the housework.”

Funny Quotes for Maid of Honor Speech

Incorporating a few funny lines or quotes into your speech might help make it more entertaining. Here are a few of the most humorous quotations about love that are sure to make your audience smile.

  1. “Love is sharing your popcorn.” Charles Schultz
  2. “Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.” — Henry Kissinger
  3. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” — Charles Schulz
  4. “Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” Oscar Wilde
  5. “If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.” — Sigmund Freud, Austrian neurologist and psychoanalyst
  6. “The secret to a good marriage is to be a little deaf.” — Ruth Bader Ginsburg 
  7. “Marriage is not just spiritual communion. It is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Dr. Joyce Brothers
  8. “Men wear the pants in the relationship, but women control the zipper.” Unknown
  9. “Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” George Burns, American comedian
  10. “It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner, American comedian
  11. “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.” Socrates
  12. To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.” — Ogden Nash
  13. “If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married.” — Unknown
  14. “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.” Ann Bancroft
  15. “Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first, the ring, and then you wake up.” Evelyn Hendrickson
  16. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Mignon McLaughlin

Short and Funny Maid of Honor Speech Examples

Remember to deliver your speech from the heart, keep it short and maintain a pleasant tone. Be careful to adjust your speech to reflect your relationship with the couple and the mood of the wedding as a whole. If you've read our post on Mother of the Bride Speech with Tips and Examples, you'll appreciate the short and funny maid of honor speech examples we have provided here to help you write your own.

“Hey everyone, I'm [Name], the official partner-in-crime to our lovely bride, [Bride name]. Big shoutout to everyone who made today possible, especially those who might've captured my not-so-photogenic cry face.

For a decade, [Bride] has been my best friend, part-time therapist. The best thing about her is how she always cheers me on while still providing thoughtful criticism and suggestions for improvement. I can't even count how many times she's had to calm me down by having a serious chat with me. Just like [Bride name], [Groom name] is practical, rational, and thoughtful. When they travel, they create PowerPoint presentations and spreadsheets to defend their choices. Here's to a future filled with love, adventure, and perhaps wealthy kids! Cheers to [Bride] and [Groom]!”

“Hello everyone, I am [Name]. From the time we were in diapers, [bride's name] and I have been great friends. We were reportedly the noisiest infants in the daycare. More than 20 years later, we're still here, still close and still loud.

I'm not great at public speaking, but those famed puppy eyes of [Bride]'s are really convincing. As soon as I met [Groom], we had something in common: neither of us can ever say “No” to her. I've known [Groom] for a while now. He's a top chef, and [Bride]? She's his #1 fan at the dining table! While [Groom] might be a bit clumsy, [Bride] always there with her crafty fixes. It seems like the ideal fit.

I hope for the best for you. May your dogs eventually pick up some great tricks, may your rice never burn at the bottom, and may your love only get stronger with time. Cheers to the [Bride] and [Groom]!”

Tips For Your Maid Of Honor Speech

Guests, especially after a few cocktails during cocktail hour, may not have the finest attention spans for long, emotional speeches, so a funny wedding speech is a terrific way to keep them entertained. Here are some general tips to make your Maid of Honor Speech sparkle:

  1. Make it short and sweet
  2. Focus on the couple, not just the bride
  3. Don’t include inside jokes – the crowd won’t understand
  4. Speak slowly and clearly
  5. Have some fun, but don’t cross the line or end up bullying
  6. Practice beforehand
  7. Make sure you tell a story
  8. Avoid using clichés
  9. Don’t mention exes
  10. Avoid saying anything that might cause conflict
  11. End with a nice comment and a toast
tips for your maid of honor speech
tips for your maid of honor speech
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Also Read: Sample Letter To Write To Your Husband On Wedding Day

Final Thoughts

Being selected as a maid of honor means you will be a part of the bride's most memorable day of her life, which is an honor. The celebration will be even more special and one you will always remember if the maid of honor delivers a humorous speech. Thanks for reading our article about funny lines for maid of honor speeches. Keep in mind that this is not an opportunity to criticize or ridicule the couple; rather, it is a time to celebrate their marriage with humor, anecdotes, and well-wishes for their future together.

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