Same-Sex Wedding Ideas For Gay and Lesbian Couples

Weddings between couples of the same gender are becoming increasingly popular. After all the struggle, the strong LGBT community has triumphed, as you may now legally declare your love. The wait is over, and gay and lesbian couples are looking for same-sex wedding ideas. You want to make it official, and we're delighted to be of guidance. We have some amazing ideas to inspire you if you're having a gay or lesbian wedding, from subtle touches to dramatic accents, whether same-sex cake toppers gift ideas or romantic lesbian wedding images. Now is the time to get engaged.

Same-Sex Wedding deas For Gay and Lesbian Couples
A super fun way to confuse your wedding guests!

Same-sex Weddings: Traditional or Freedom?

Same-sex couples enjoy a lot of creative freedoms when it comes to their wedding day. One of the best things about a gay or lesbian wedding is that you can ditch the stuffy traditional wedding roles and conventions and genuinely make the day your own.

Knowing which aspects of the traditional marriage ceremony to preserve at a gay or lesbian wedding might be tricky. Who should be the first to walk down the aisle? Do we wish to be “given away”? What roles do our parents play in our lives? Is it better to have a best man and ushers or a maid of honor and bridesmaids? We've got a ton of new same-sex wedding traditions ideas for gay or lesbian couples. Plan your day using parts from straight weddings while still keeping it personal and unique to you.

Here are the critical times when you can break the conventions and traditions for a gay or lesbian wedding, whether you're married in a church (as is permissible in the United States and Australia), have a civil ceremony, or hold a celebrant-led celebration wedding.

Select Lesbian or Gay Outfits Together

Put on whatever you want! It's thrilling to be able to throw the rulebook out the window when it comes to your wedding attire. Some lesbian couples opt for a huge white gown with veils, while gay couples opt for a wedding suit.

Formal clothing, such as a kilt or a sharp suit, is an option for gay couples. Everyone has their own personal style, so wear what you want – and remember, if it's not white dresses with their purity implications, try for something bright!

Many couples coordinate their attire to avoid clashing suit colors or different shades of white clothing. That often means there's no need for a “grand reveal,” and you may spend the night before the wedding together getting ready. This makes for some wonderful images of you getting ready. If you still want the big reveal, go ahead and do it — it's all about creating the day exactly how you want it!

Remember that if you wish to get ready separately, you'll need to hire a second photographer to make that you both get an equal amount of attention from the photographer on your wedding day.

See also: Best Lesbian Wedding Outfits Ideas

2. Personalise Your Stag/Hen Dos

While separate hen and stag parties are still popular, more gay and lesbian couples are choosing a joint night out with friends or a larger group activity such as a week in a large rented property. It's entirely up to you as a couple: if your friendship group has a lot of overlap and you both have similar ideas for activities, it's better to have one big stag or hen party than two smaller ones.

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Most same-sex wedding brides and grooms have dropped the cheesier stag and hen elements, such as strippers and fancy dress, so you can mark those off your list right away! Finally, do whichever type of night brings you the most joy.

Skip Wedding Party Labels

A lesbian wedding does not require two maids of honor or bridesmaids, and a gay wedding does not require two best men and two sets of ushers.

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The most essential thing is to have the people closest to you by your side, regardless of gender. It's not uncommon for a bride to have both male and female attendants or for a groom to have a female best friend or sister serve as best man. Of course, the phrases best man and maid of honor are completely optional. In LGBT weddings, the term “wedding attendants” or “honor attendants” is typically used. However, feel free to have as much fun as you want. Does anyone remember the “I Do Crew”?

When planning your same-sex wedding party, keep in mind that a wedding is a large job, and if you're not going with the traditional roles, you'll need to outline your attendants' responsibilities explicitly. These are the expectations:

Duties of the Best Man/Maid of Honor: They will plan the stag/hen do (see below), be a sounding board for ideas, attend dress/suit fittings, assist with hands-on activities such as addressing wedding invitations, and assist with set-up the day before the wedding.

On the big day, they'll both assist you in getting dressed and signing the register, but a best man will welcome and guide your guests, make sure all the vendors are in position, and hold the rings (if you have them).

Ushers/Bridesmaids' Responsibilities: The rest of your wedding party will assist with the stag/hen do, any planning duties that the couple requires, and venue setup.

They will get ready with the pair on the wedding day, then accompany the “bride” to the site and follow them down the aisle, while the ushers welcome and direct visitors. At the wedding meal, both bridesmaids and ushers host tables.

If you're having a non-traditional same-sex wedding party for gay or lesbian, select who will meet and guide visitors to their seats, help the couple arriving at the site, and carry the rings, among other roles.

Throw Away Proposal Traditions

As some same-sex couples have informed us, there's a chance you'll both propose at the same time! Either of you can pop the question when the time feels right. This might be a wonderful, amusing time in your love story if you're both planning to, but for others, it may feel like something you've always wanted has been snatched away.

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If your relationship appears to be going toward a proposal, now is an excellent time to convey how much you'd love to be the one to ask/be asked. If it's okay with you, make it a lovely surprise. Here are some other proposal customs to consider:

The groom traditionally asks the bride's father for permission to propose, but a same-sex proposal has no such need. What about one knee? No thank you.

You may not feel engagement or wedding bands be as significant. You could commemorate the same-sex event with an engagement gift that has equal sentimental importance; we've heard of gay and lesbian couples who have exchanged watches, written songs, had matching engagement tattoos or purchased a tree to plant in their garden together. You can either buy it ahead of time or decide jointly.

Get someone to covertly video or photograph the same-sex engagement — it's an important part of your story that you won't remember if you don't have photos. Of course, this depends on whether the proposal is public or private and intimate. Choose a setting that reflects your same-sex relationship: at a concert, on vacation, at your favorite romantic restaurant, in bed for breakfast, or on a gorgeous walk.

Same-Sex Wedding Ceremony

Being walked down the aisle to your partner implies that one-half of the couple is already waiting with the officiant at the top, and you must first determine if this is what you want. The bride is walked down the aisle and “given away” by her father in a traditional ceremony. There are many variations on this in a same-sex ceremony to suit a gay or lesbian couple and their circumstances.

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Would you both like the chance to walk down the aisle (especially if you're itching to capture that photo of you in your custom-made gown)? Do you both want to avoid walking down the aisle, which can be intimidating given the amount of attention? Does one-half work while the other does not? Discuss your preferences with each other.

Same sex couples can alternate walking down the aisle or have one half wait for the other at the top. Alternatively, a couple can walk down the aisle arm in arm, which is a really romantic and significant gesture and a beautiful moment to photograph.

If having all eyes on you makes you feel sick, avoid the aisle entirely. A ceremony circle, in which attendees stand in a circle and allow a space for the couple to join; Start at the front of the ceremony space and have the guests enter after you; mingle with the crowd if they aren't in seats and work your way to the front; or – a fantastic suggestion for outdoor space – lead the attendees in a procession behind you as you find the front.

The grooms should, in fact, walk down the aisles holding bouquets! It's not only for brides.

Being “Handed Over”

This custom originated as a transfer of property from father to husband and has a patriarchal past that you may find objectionable. However, the symbolism of being given away does not have to be traditional; many people regard it as a way for parents to give their blessing to the marriage and as a joyful, loving gesture. It is entirely discretionary to be given away if it goes against your ideals, does not match your circumstances, or simply makes you uncomfortable. If you wish to embrace it, here are some suggestions.

Lesbian couples still prefer fathers to walk them down the aisle, while gay couples prefer mothers. Having a parent present is an excellent way to include them on your special day.

Another option is to turn to a close friend or family member for help rather than “give you away.” This might be a great way to express your gratitude to someone who has meant a lot to you.

You can have your partner's parents walk you down the aisle, one on each side, to commemorate the union of two families and thank them for their walked support.

Same-Sex Wedding Ideas for Gay and Lesbian

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Same Sex Wedding Ideas For Gay and Lesbian Couples 10
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pride lesbian brides with pair of sneakers and rainbow soles
pride lesbian brides with pair of sneakers and rainbow soles (chad_biggs_event_planning)
black colorful LGBT wedding sneakers and fresh blooms
black colorful LGBT wedding sneakers and fresh blooms (Fig Willow Studios)
pastel watercolor rainbow LGBT wedding invitation ideas
pastel watercolor rainbow LGBT wedding invitation ideas (Prim and Glad)
same sex wedding with pops of color sign and macarons
same sex wedding with pops of color sign and macarons (Boswick Photography)
happily ever after same sex rustic wedding decor
happily ever after same sex rustic wedding decor (jma.photographer)
delicious four tiered rainbow cake with doughnuts for same sex wedding
delicious four tiered rainbow cake with doughnuts for same sex wedding (Anges De Sucre)
gay wedding ideas with rainbow smoke bombs
gay wedding ideas with rainbow smoke bombs (Green Wedding Shoes)
pink inspired bright and sunny LGBTQ micro wedding ideas
pink inspired bright and sunny LGBTQ micro wedding ideas (Haley Day Photography)
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There are lots of ways to include LGBT pride into your wedding ceremony, whether gently or openly.

  • You can't go wrong with the LGBTQ flag colors for your theme.
  • Choose flowers, runners, and bouquets in the colors of the flag.
  • Your wedding cake must not be overlooked. To match your pride décor, it could be baked in pride colors on the outside or solely on the inside.
Same Sex Wedding Ideas For Gay and Lesbian Couples
Same Sex Wedding Ideas For Gay and Lesbian Couples

Final Thoughts

There are plenty of ideas to plan a same sex wedding but the important thing to remember is what you and your gay or lesbian partner enjoy. For example, bookworms can form a line and gift each guest with a book personalized with a loving message, allowing them to construct their own library. Wine-loving gay or lesbian couples can perform a loving cup ceremony in which one person pours red wine into a cup and the other takes a drink.

Consider introducing a unique act that wedding guests will remember forever to reflect your love and unity.

Unity sand ceremony — each gay or lesbian couple has a distinct colored container of sand. You combine them in a vase to represent the blending of your two lives and identities.

Handfasting — a pagan ritual in which the couple crosses their hands and the celebrant, guests, or family members tie colorful ribbons around their hands.

Last Kiss – The people who gave you your first kiss (your parents) give you a last kiss on the cheek as a blessing before you utter your vows and start your own family.

Candles – A unity candle ceremony begins with the lighting of two candles, one for each of you, which are then utilized to light a larger centre candle.

Ring warming — your rings are passed around to all of your guests, who can speak or silently transmit their wishes for your future over the rings, so when it's time to exchange them, they're imbued with all of your family and friends' love and affection.

Jumping over a broom — you adorn a broom, lay it on the floor, and jump over it to symbolize clearing away the old and ushering in the new.

Images via Pinterest

About me


Seven years ago, I took a leap of faith and merged my organisational skills and love for all things wedding by starting this blog. Since then, it's been a whirlwind of sharing my insights, covering the latest trends, and offering practical how-tos, all aimed at simplifying your wedding experience.

Why weddings, you might ask?

Well, for me, weddings are more than just events; they are a tapestry of love stories, each unique and beautiful in its own way. With a blend of technical expertise and a keen eye for style, I bring a fresh perspective to the wedding scene, marrying (pun intended!) precision with creativity.

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